Sunday, January 26, 2014

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

If you have ever been a Bunny parent, you understand how common this might be. Unless my giant bun is just the most passive aggressive drama queen on the planet...

NOTE: Apparently too many people get upset by my colorful use of the English Language. All curse words have been edited with asterisks. I would edit them out completely, but I like to keep myself in my writing, as well as stay true to what actually happened.

Don't let this Glamor Shot fool you, she'll destroy everything in your house with a fucking smile on her face.
Me: *cooking dinner*

Claudia: Hey Mom, I see you. Let me out.

Me: Yes, I see you too, and no, you don't need to be out right now.

Claudia: *slams food bowl against her cage bars frantically*

Me: I said I no, calm down. I'm trying to cook.

Claudia: *throws bowl in the floor, then begins digging in it loudly*

Me: I just fed you! Stop throwing your food please.

Claudia: You don't tell me what to do. *flips bowl over, making all the food spill on the floor outside her cage.*

Me: FINE. Stop throwing a hissy fit, I'll let you out.

Claudia: That's what I thought....

Me: *opens cage door, goes right back to cooking*

Claudia: *bounces around the kitchen, sniffing snuff...doing bun things.*

Five minutes pass in complete silence and peace.


Me: What the hell? *looks around, notices the kitchen is bunny free* CLAUDIA!

Claudia: *hops in from the junk room, completely calm*

Me: What did you do?

Claudia: *looks at me, head tilted slightly* Nothing.

Me: You little liar... *goes to investigate*

Claudia: I wouldn't go in there if I were you....


Claudia: Do what?

Me: *stares at the overturned trunk, with all my reenacting supplies spilled out on the floor.* This thing is about 10 times heavier that in the everloving f**k did you even manage to pull this over?

Claudia: Talent...

And this is why being a bunny mommy can be a smack in the face of all of the laws of physics.

Love and Lightning Bugs,
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